Five Months

Five months.
Five months as of two days ago.
How did we celebrate?
You ignored me, again.
I don't know if it's commitment issues.
Or the fact that five months is a long time and it scares you.
I don't know if it's the fact that I was up all night the night before with nightmares so I didn't tell you happy five months. And if that's it then I guess I'm sorry.
I don't know if you're just over it, over us, over me.
I guess we all get a bit boring after a while I just didn't think it'd happen so fast with us.
I don't know if you finally decided to snoop on my phone and found something you didn't like, and if that's what it is, I guess I'm sorry.

Do you remember? The first night we talked again? I had so many butterflies, and you said you did too. I couldn't stop smiling. We talked all night into the early morning. You said you missed me and you never really left, you were always there.
I just want that 'us' back. The one with unlimited smiles and laughs and enough happiness from the other person that it spills over.
I was so happy.

Do you remember the first night I came back from vacation? I barely told you that I was in the hotel and you were already calling me.
I wondered the hotel for hours, got lost, and almost got kicked out that night. I would've been on the streets in New Orleans and I was just so happy to be talking to you.

I don't know if you miss it too, or if you just miss being single.
I don't know if you've lost interest in me and you're ready to move on.
I don't know if I've done something to make you angry.
I don't know what happened.
I just want us back.