Monday, December 7, 2015

December 7th 2015 - 10:24 PM


I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and I’m the one who put it there. Nobody else put the responsibility and the stress onto me, I brought it onto myself. I just want to take a break, but I’ve just started and I don’t know how I’ll make it through. It’s like I’m drowning in everything and I can’t breathe and I know everything is only temporary but this temporary looks so permanent right now. I can’t see past it and I feel like I’m going to fail, and if I do fail I’m letting everyone down, because I’m not the only one involved in this. In the back of my head I know that they won’t be let down or disappointed but I’m a perfectionist and I’m setting my mind to this goal and if I don’t achieve this goal I’m going to be left hopeless and confused and not knowing how to recover. I can’t be in that position again. I can’t stay here anymore, this horrid place and judgmental people who don’t understand what I’m saying. I need out. I can’t stay in this town anymore and anyone who knows me knows I’m leaving the first chance I get. I don’t know where I’m going but it’ll be far away from here.
 

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