Vulnerability

I’ve been talking to this guy for a while, he’s a friend of mine. I think friends often make you find yourself discovering more of yourself for them. New friends ask questions, some more serious than others.

Where were you born?
Do you have any siblings?
What’s your favorite color?
Who is your role model?
What are you scared of?
They make you think of things we tend to push out of our head.
This friend of mine didn’t start out by asking any questions, he didn’t even start with a ‘hi’ or ‘hey’. This friend started out with a paragraph telling me I was beautiful. He kept repeating ‘wow’
This was a few months ago.
In between these past few months, we’ve gotten closer. This friend, lives in Canada, as I do not. And he has more life experience than I do myself, not by much, but by a few years, but he’s still a friend.
Some friends help you realize that blue is not your best color. Some help you pick up guys. Some help you dump guys. And some are just along for the ride.
But this friend,
He helped me realize how vulnerable I am, and how much I hate it. He helped me realize how tall I built these walls around myself. After only a day or so of talking, he pointed out my ‘deflection’ as he calls it. Basically if someone brings up something I don’t want to talk about, I deflect it. It’s a common thing with people these days. All of mine involve switching the conversation, sometimes back to the other person, sometimes to simply nonsense.
Since talking to him, my walls have been taken down a bit, he’s an amazing friend, and I’m so thankful for him. I catch myself deflecting now, as I couldn’t before. I also notice that I’m more comfortable around him than a lot of my very close friends.
Maybe it’s the distance that’s been put between us, that I can feel comfortable telling him things that took me a long time to tell my best friend.
I don’t know what’s up with me and long distance things, but I think you meet the best people who are far away.