To the Person Who Loves Me Next

To the person who loves me next.

Please don’t get angry when I call you crying because I can’t find the long side of my blanket, because my emotions get out of control and at the time, it’s a serious issue.

You have to understand that I don’t understand. My mind is small and closed and it takes a lot for me to understand even the simplest things and even when I do, I’ll still ask you questions.

I’m jealous. Maybe overly jealous at times, but I know there’s always someone better out there for you, and there will always be someone prettier and you can always love someone more, no matter how much you deny it.

I can’t help the fact that I don’t trust you completely, but in my defense, I don’t trust myself either. I’ve tricked my mind to believe things that I’m not even sure are true, and some of those things involve you.

I need constant reassurance, and I really am not just looking for attention, so when I say “You don’t really love me” don’t be offended. I just really don’t believe it. And honestly, the most you can do is try to reassure me as much as you can until I say it again.

I get lost in my head and I wonder what things are like in different countries and I tend to ask questions that I know you wouldn’t know the answer to.

To the person who loves me next. Know that I’m fragile, no matter the exterior I put up. Know that I’ll bring up names and call you names at the most absurd times. Know that I’ll push you away and I’ll say I hate you when you try to resist me, and I’ll beg for you to leave, but please don’t.

To the person who loves me next, I’m sorry